Gym Time Progress!!

So I have hit the gym two times now the first night i did the tred mill, eliptical and bike . The second night I went at 1:20 am and warmed up on the tredmill for 10 mins and then I went to the weights worked on my arms, and abs. After that for my cardio work out I went on this machine thingy lol i know its funny but its not the eliptical but the same concept just your legs move differently. Talk about a work out!!! I also found out my headphones are not conpatable with the tvs they have there, I got electrial shocked 3 times!! time for some new ones I guess. I am taking a break from the gym tonightm but will be back tomorrow after work around 130am again. cant weight to weigh my self next week and hopefully see some progress!!! Glad I have my sister Shanyn to help, even though she is on the other side of the country she is an insipration for me to get my butt in gear!!! Love you sis!!

Time to get my butt in gear.

So tomorrow is the day, I currently weigh 217lbs and I am ready to take the challenge to lose weight. I know this is not going to be easy. I am scared and I am hoping i can pull it off. My entire goal is to be 150lbs. But I know you are suppose to start with small goals. So my first goal is to be 200lbs. Tomorrow I am going to the gym and signing up and going grocery shopping and starting a new eating habit. uuughhhhh wish me luck.

Something is just not right.

So I woke up this morning, and have been having a hard time since then. I feel so off today, and I went through like 10 outfits today for work, not feeling comfortable on anything. I know I need to lose and i am hopefully signing up for the gym friday. But its not the weight, I have no clue what it is. Have you just ever woken up and felt off and not yourself and you just cant put your finger on it. I dont know what to do. I dont know if it is a positive or negative thing but it feels pretty negative because I feel like crap. I feel fine health wise, i just feel awful some  other way. I know I am probably not making any sense. But I guess that is what I have to say. Feels good to let this out. I think I really need to blog more, it has been awhile.

conflicted

I am so confused. When this wedding process started i was so excited to have my friends with me and share this experience with them. I figured they would be happy for me and supportive. But this is not the case. I have already lost two bridesmaids and loss them as friends. Now i feel like i am losing another. I have never felt so alone in m entire life. I try to talk to andrew about it, but he really dosnt understnad. My mom says they are stuck in high school mode. One friend, who is a bridesmaid never showed up to my shower and didnt come to my graduation party. and now she is upset because i couldnt come because my dog is going through some medical issues, and i had to make sure he is ok. I just dont know what to do. I really dont think i can go through another emotional rollercoaster of losing yet another friend. What do i do? i am completely lost and starting to think i am doing something wrong.

NEW LIFE

So i am officially done with school. I have graduation on Saturday.!!!! Living with andrew is great. We dont really see each other alot though because our schedules are opposite. I really want a date night soon. but we are broke with the wedding coming up. We got out wedding bands! we really now just have to make payments on everything. bllahhh i cant wait for this to be over. i am still having nightmares about the wedding. so i cant wait till the stress is over. So now i am starting to look for a new job. something full time and something that can hold me over until i can find something that goes with my degree. i am so exhausted though i cant wait to figure everything out.

tired

So i am still not even close to being unpacked. I hate moving. I also hate not having a tv. I had to find out that southwest airlines is having issues and a kid from my school got kidnapped on friday while his girlfriend was shoved in a suitcase. (thought i had it rough) by my mom and people at school. but living with andrew is nice. I am beginning to figure out his little quirks. like finding carrots in the deli draw. And finding him whipping the dogs ass with our dish towel. (eww) i threw it away. But other than that its going well. But i still need more shelves and another dresser, futon, desk and a few other things. but i am cooking some meatballs in the slow cooker and i am on my way to my moms. to watch my show since i cant here. Write later i guess.

busy busy bee with a little bit of nightmares

So i have not posted is so long because i have been so busy moving into our apartment, and with the start of my new job and school. Today is my first day where i dont have work or school, so i thought i would write a little something. So far so good with living with andrew. It still really doesnt feel like we are living with each oher. because i have stayed at his house for long periods of time. so i wonder if it will ever really kick in that we are living with each other. There is about 5 1/2 months till our wedding!!!! YIKES!!!! still so much to do. Speaking of weddings... considering how i only have 2 followers and both of you are married. NICOLE AND ROBIN. did you guys ever have nightmares about your wedding . Like really intense ones. Here is mine.
   So its the wedding day. I am in my dress, a few mins to walk down the asile. Then OMG i forgot that we never bought rings. !!!!! so somehow a little guy shows up with a box of rings and i buy two. then... my mom and my sisters are no where to be found. i end up walking down the asile by myself . But as i am half way down they show up behind me but their flowers are dead. then we get married and all is ok. we take a few pictures, but again my mom and sisters disappear. i call my mom and ask where she was and she said she was at home with my sisters. I had asked why and she said the wedding was over so she left. but the reception was in a few minutes. so i didnt under stand why they would leave. I convinced them to come back. Then ANDREW GOES MISSING. the wedding coordinator (which was odly the women who is holding my fate with a job i am currently up for in real life for after college) finds andrew in the back with some women and they are about to have sex. two minutes after we are married. Some how i forgive him(never in really life. he would have been casterated then would have shoved them down his throat) haha) we are walking to trying to find our car in a large parking gargage. we get in the car and  i realize hes not wearing his wedding band. I ask where it is and he says its in his coat. i tell him to put it on (still mad about him and that women) then he goes to get it and its not there. i start yelling just perfect andrew really. i start the car and drive off. and then i wake up. MESSED UP DREAM RIGHT!!! it still makes me mad and i am awake. ok well write back to this one please.