conflicted

I am so confused. When this wedding process started i was so excited to have my friends with me and share this experience with them. I figured they would be happy for me and supportive. But this is not the case. I have already lost two bridesmaids and loss them as friends. Now i feel like i am losing another. I have never felt so alone in m entire life. I try to talk to andrew about it, but he really dosnt understnad. My mom says they are stuck in high school mode. One friend, who is a bridesmaid never showed up to my shower and didnt come to my graduation party. and now she is upset because i couldnt come because my dog is going through some medical issues, and i had to make sure he is ok. I just dont know what to do. I really dont think i can go through another emotional rollercoaster of losing yet another friend. What do i do? i am completely lost and starting to think i am doing something wrong.

NEW LIFE

So i am officially done with school. I have graduation on Saturday.!!!! Living with andrew is great. We dont really see each other alot though because our schedules are opposite. I really want a date night soon. but we are broke with the wedding coming up. We got out wedding bands! we really now just have to make payments on everything. bllahhh i cant wait for this to be over. i am still having nightmares about the wedding. so i cant wait till the stress is over. So now i am starting to look for a new job. something full time and something that can hold me over until i can find something that goes with my degree. i am so exhausted though i cant wait to figure everything out.

tired

So i am still not even close to being unpacked. I hate moving. I also hate not having a tv. I had to find out that southwest airlines is having issues and a kid from my school got kidnapped on friday while his girlfriend was shoved in a suitcase. (thought i had it rough) by my mom and people at school. but living with andrew is nice. I am beginning to figure out his little quirks. like finding carrots in the deli draw. And finding him whipping the dogs ass with our dish towel. (eww) i threw it away. But other than that its going well. But i still need more shelves and another dresser, futon, desk and a few other things. but i am cooking some meatballs in the slow cooker and i am on my way to my moms. to watch my show since i cant here. Write later i guess.

busy busy bee with a little bit of nightmares

So i have not posted is so long because i have been so busy moving into our apartment, and with the start of my new job and school. Today is my first day where i dont have work or school, so i thought i would write a little something. So far so good with living with andrew. It still really doesnt feel like we are living with each oher. because i have stayed at his house for long periods of time. so i wonder if it will ever really kick in that we are living with each other. There is about 5 1/2 months till our wedding!!!! YIKES!!!! still so much to do. Speaking of weddings... considering how i only have 2 followers and both of you are married. NICOLE AND ROBIN. did you guys ever have nightmares about your wedding . Like really intense ones. Here is mine.
   So its the wedding day. I am in my dress, a few mins to walk down the asile. Then OMG i forgot that we never bought rings. !!!!! so somehow a little guy shows up with a box of rings and i buy two. then... my mom and my sisters are no where to be found. i end up walking down the asile by myself . But as i am half way down they show up behind me but their flowers are dead. then we get married and all is ok. we take a few pictures, but again my mom and sisters disappear. i call my mom and ask where she was and she said she was at home with my sisters. I had asked why and she said the wedding was over so she left. but the reception was in a few minutes. so i didnt under stand why they would leave. I convinced them to come back. Then ANDREW GOES MISSING. the wedding coordinator (which was odly the women who is holding my fate with a job i am currently up for in real life for after college) finds andrew in the back with some women and they are about to have sex. two minutes after we are married. Some how i forgive him(never in really life. he would have been casterated then would have shoved them down his throat) haha) we are walking to trying to find our car in a large parking gargage. we get in the car and  i realize hes not wearing his wedding band. I ask where it is and he says its in his coat. i tell him to put it on (still mad about him and that women) then he goes to get it and its not there. i start yelling just perfect andrew really. i start the car and drive off. and then i wake up. MESSED UP DREAM RIGHT!!! it still makes me mad and i am awake. ok well write back to this one please.

blah

Today i had school. My first day of design class. It was pretty interesting but i was the only one there that has never taken a design class before so everyone was talking and i feel like i was listening to a foreign language. So the professor is going to help me out. we are going to the mall on wednesday to look at designs. Its the perfect time to take this class since andrew and I are moving this weekend. I can get some ideas on how to decorate our new place to make it a home. We get to move things in on fri and sat and then we get to actually move in on sunday!! i cant wait to not live out of boxes and i get to sleep in a bed instead of the couch!! yay!! right now i am at andrews waiting for for him and listening to fenway snore hahah hes loud.i know this post gives no information and is pointless but i am bored. ok thats good for now. watching some secret life repeats. good night<3

Welcome To My Life

Hello , my name is Lauren and this is my first time blogging. For an introduction I am 22 years old and i am about to graduate college!! not only that but i am getting married in 6 months! Alot of other things are going on this year, that you all will continue to learn as i post. (to much for one post) I am a changed person, and i have learned my new favorite line that my sister Shanyn told me "sometimes it is better to just walk away" and that is what i am doing. I am going to start living my life for me and my future husband <3 I love my family and i know they are always  there for me. The year 2011 has already been crazy, and i am sure there is more to come.